What Is Life Really About?

That’s one of the big questions, though most of us don’t ponder it much because we’re busy getting through our days, trying to find our car keys and remember our passwords.

Still, the question does remain, even if wedged into the back of our minds.

What is life really about?

Some people believe it’s all about winning. Get the grade, get the money, get the applause, get the better car, get the bigger office, get the blue checkmark, get whatever shiny thing the other person has to offer. But if life were only about winning, then every champion would remain happy forever, and that clearly does not happen. Even people who “have it all” eventually discover that “all” was not enough. Both a full calendar and an empty heart can reside in the same house.

Others say life is about pleasure.  Not a bad idea. Be comfortable. Be entertained. Avoid pain. Eat dessert first and never ask yourself difficult questions. Now, I’m not against dessert. I think it’s one of civilization’s better ideas. But a life built only on comfort can gradually become uncomfortably empty. If your main goal is to avoid difficulty, you will also be avoiding growth, courage, surprise, and meaning.

So maybe life is not entirely about winning and comfort.

Maybe life is about becoming.

Becoming wiser. Kinder. Braver. More honest. More yourself.

That does not mean becoming famous or living to impress others. Those are costumes. I suggest you become the person you would respect even if nobody else noticed or clapped.

A good life, I think, has at least three parts.

First: love. Love of family, friends, truth, beauty, justice, ideas, music, a dog who thinks you are a genius because you opened a bag of snacks. Life is thin and meaningless without connection. We are built to care and be cared for.

Second: purpose. You do not need to solve world hunger by Thursday. But it helps to do something that matters beyond gazing at your own reflection. Make something. Help someone. Learn something deeply. Stand for something decent. Tiny acts count. A life can be meaningful in a whisper as well as a shout.

Third: wonder. Life is richer when we remain curious. What makes the sky beautiful? Who made up all the words? Why do we like songs? Wonder protects life from becoming a long corridor of chores.

And yes, life also includes confusion, boredom, loss, embarrassment, and taxes. From the mundane discomfort you feel when you send a text to the wrong person, to the deep pain you feel when you lose someone you love. Meaning is not the absence of feeling uncomfortable. Meaning is having reasons to keep living.

So, what is life really about?

As best I can tell: loving well, growing honestly, helping where you can, and paying attention so you’ll notice all the miracles in this strange, difficult, wonderful, and funny world.

Life is far from perfect.

Perhaps that’s another facet of its charm.

Alan