Fear

I believe that during our entire lives we are relentlessly stalked by one particular emotion.

Fear.

I’ll share my own experience (in no particular order).

At age 86, I’m still afraid of:

Starving. Just look at my stuffed pantry and freezers. I’ve stockpiled enough food to last for months, just in case other food disappears.

Rejection. That’s a big reason why, in my early thirties, I studied counselor education. I wanted to better understand people so I could avoid being rejected by them. That’s also part of the reason I formed my own company when I was 28. No one can fire me, and “the boss” receives little, if any, criticism from his or her staff (even when he or she might benefit from it).

Abandonment.  I fear abandonment even more than I fear rejection.  I live by the advice I researched as a teenager – “If you want someone to love you, love them first.”  I’ve seldom, if ever, been rejected by any person I loved. But I’m still afraid it might be happening whenever Daveen looks at me and sighs.

Pain. That’s why I avoid playing action sports, always look both ways before I cross the street, and discard food before there’s a chance it might ascend, rather than descend, from my stomach.

Financial Failure. I’ll borrow a quote attributed to UCLA Bruins football coach Red Sanders almost 100 years ago: “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.”  This may be a slight overstatement.

A Financial Depression. On March 4, 1933, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt noted in his inaugural address, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  This may be a slight understatement.

Death.  That’s why I’m writing my blog today, rather than tomorrow. Or the day after that.  (That sounds good, but actually the thought of my own death has never bothered me.  But I’ve not yet had an opportunity to test that hypothesis.)

And yet, despite my fears, I’m not afraid to conclude that fear is a gift, not a burden. Fear propels us to survive and succeed, rather than just crunch popcorn and die watching television.

So, especially on Halloween, when fear springs at you from your own front door screaming “Boo!” right in your face, just smile, wave, and say, “Hello”.

And you might add, if you’re especially scared:

“Welcome.

Would you like some candy?”

Alan