Did You Miss Me?

“Did you miss me?”

This is a standard greeting between friends who haven’t seen each other for a while.  The expected reply is – “Yes, of course I did.”

But there is always a question in my mind.  Should I be rote, or should I be real?  Or something in between that we call “polite”?

I used to have an internal debate about this, because I knew what was expected, but I also knew that, personally.  I seldom miss people when I’m not with them.  I tend, instead, to focus on the people I’m with in the moment.  That makes perfect sense to me.  As I have written in the past, I’m pragmatic.  If I wake up at 5:30 am worrying about something I can’t do anything about, I simply go back to sleep.

Today when asked “Do you miss me,” I like to offer a different, but truthful, response.  Something like, “I’m delighted to see you.”

A few people might press the point.  “Yes, but did you miss me?”

Darn! So much for being polite.

My short answer is something like this: “I always enjoy seeing you, but when we’re apart I hope you are enjoying yourself, either with someone else or by yourself, just like I am.”  I don’t really think about what others might be doing or, who they’re with, when we’re apart.

I know there are those who yearn in the absence of a loved one.  But I think it is both generous and self-serving to give them well wishes in your absence, and to assume they reciprocate.  All of us should enjoy our lives to the fullest all of the time.

Perhaps that is more than you wanted to know.  Or do you live your life like I do, trying to maximize each moment?

I also reserve my emotional energy for people, not things.  I love my friends and family.  While I like my home and car, they can be repaired or replaced.  People cannot.  So I seldom say that I love a “thing”.

I spend my emotional energy on those I’m with, including my readers with whom I’m delighted to share my blog.  I hope you have a wonderful week… and that you won’t miss me.  At least, not until next Tuesday morning.

Love,

Alan