Life Lessons From My Father
When my children were young I caught myself talking to them harshly. I sounded exactly like my father. That was scary. My father had a rather loud bark.
My father was also extremely successful in figuring out his life. He was a professional musician, but taught his students much more than how to play a wind instrument. And, starting from zero, he discovered the secrets to leading a very fulfilling life.
Dad shared lots of invaluable wisdom with me and my brother. But he was my father. He dropped out of college before he earned his bachelor’s degree, and he was far too old to understand my problems, or so I thought at the time. And, well, he had a temper.
Yet, to paraphrase Brutus in Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar, “The mistakes we make are buried with our bones. Our wisdom, hopefully, lives after us.” That is why I wrote my three People Tools books.
A few of the lessons my father passed on to me are:
- I am responsible for my own actions.
- Actions definitely speak louder than words.
- This is a tough one. But I find that an apology is essential to soothe hurt feelings. It doesn’t cost a dime, can be used over and over, and unless everyone agrees that you are always perfect and never wrong, there’s no real substitute.
- Find the sweet grapes in life. Have a positive outlook. Great expectations precede great experiences.
- Especially frustration. Whenever one family member had a complaint against another, Dad would call a “Family Conference” where each of us could speak, uninterrupted, for as long as we needed to. (Although it seemed that I always remembered my best arguments after the meeting was over.) As an eight-year-old my parents actually listened to me. That was neat.
- You don’t have to be perfect to deserve love.
It seems I appreciate my dad more each day, especially in his absence.
As Joni Mitchell sang in the song Big Yellow Taxi,
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone…
Alan
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