I woke early this morning.  Lying in bed, I watched the tiny green light on the ceiling —a smoke detector perhaps, or maybe a spy camera.  It seemed to be moving around.  Isn’t the brain weird, presenting us, as it does, with visions and thoughts?

Then my mind conjured up an unrelated memory and I began to think of my two dear pinochle partners from yesteryear — my father and my brother. Sometimes we played until four or five in the morning.

I always had mixed feelings about playing pinochle.  It’s a competitive card game, and when I compete, I like to win. Although the effort it takes to win feels like work, and when I’m relaxing, I don’t like to “work.”  Aha, you’ve got it!  A dilemma — work at it and win or relax and lose.

After years of working at it, playing as well as I could, I realized that I had won fewer than one- third of the games, about the same odds as sheer luck.  That was when I relaxed into the purely recreational aspects of playing and began to actually enjoy myself.  Patterns persist, but sometimes…

Despite the preamble, what I intended to write about in this blog, is letting go of a mistaken self-image.  One example for me, is recognizing that I wasn’t the best debater on the college debate circuit.  That happened the day I lost a knockout round to Lawrence Tribe, who later became our nation’s top constitutional law expert at Harvard Law School.

But the mistaken self-image I’ve currently let go of is that I’m any good at investing in the stock market.  I might have, in the past, told myself I’m great, but my actual experience has been losing money almost every time.  I’m lousy at holding stocks.  I once lost one third of my (then) substantial investment in the market.  Then I hired a professional money manager who went on to lose as much as I had. Well, no more.

Live and learn. And learn. And learn.

I often wonder why can’t we benefit more from the mistakes of others?  That’s one reason I like to read biographies – maybe I’ll learn something.  But mostly, we humans seem to insist on repeating the same mistakes, over and over.

Is there anything you think you’re good at, but from which you actually get a poor result?  (You might go back and take a peek at my Pogo Stick blogs.  I won’t touch a Pogo Stick ever again.)

The breeze outside seems as promising as it does on any other day.  And if there is anything I’ve come to understand, the wind will always, eventually, change direction. I wish you a happy day.

Alan

It’s happened to all of us. The cashier scanned an item twice, or we realize we were charged for something at a hotel or restaurant that we never asked for or never received. If we catch the overcharge in time, we can ask to have it reversed. But sometimes, we discover we’ve been shortchanged after it’s too late to do anything about it. Sometimes, we might even realize that we were actually scammed out of our hard-earned dollars. That feeling of being cheated, can leave us frustrated at best, and downright angry at worst.

I used to let myself get irritated and even enraged by these situations. But, now, rather than let that kind of loss impact my mood, I deal with it differently. We all make conscious choices about how we react to things. In this case I’ve decided it isn’t worth letting myself feel disappointed about losing a certain amount of money, either by mistake or deceit. And I begin by reminding myself that the loss of that money isn’t the end of the world.

To make this easier for me, at the beginning of the year I mentally allocate a fund for mistakes and related financial losses. It’s just like a budget for a vacation, (though the use is not quite as much fun). The amount you allocate, of course, will be in relation to the amount you can lose without incurring any actual hardship. (Someone who is living hand to mouth, probably can’t afford to allocate anything to a “lost money” fund, while someone who regularly treats themselves to expensive spa retreats can allocate more).

In my case, I allocate several thousand dollars. While I’m not actually spending the money, I am budgeting for my future peace of mind. This allows me to focus on more important things in my life, like my family and friends and the people I love.

The overall point of this exercise, of course, is to not let certain kinds of material loss overshadow our days. Save your feelings for things that really matter.

The past is always instructive for the future and I’ve found that, indeed, experience is the best teacher. So, if, in the past, you’ve found yourself “crying over spilt milk” focusing on your losses, why not take advantage of my experience and break out of that unhelpful pattern. Why not put things in a different perspective?  Life is always better when we spend our time appreciating the positive, the joy and beauty that comes our way.

Alan

As an employer, I used to hate holidays and weekends. After all, I was working at the office Saturdays and holidays, while paying other people in my office not to be there.

During the past half century my pattern has gradually changed. I haven’t worked on a Saturday or a holiday for years.  After all, isn’t that why I worked evenings, Saturday’s, and holidays for all those years?  So I wouldn’t have to do it now?

Which brings me to one of my favorite subjects, the idea of productivity. I have a need to be (or at least feel that I am being) productive. So, on my time off I read books because that is educational and entertaining. I also play solitaire on my iPhone. (I can rationalize almost anything).  After all, if I relax while playing solitaire, then I’ll perform better (and be more productive) after a little relaxation.

But there might be a small flaw in my reasoning. Yesterday I played solitaire all day. Rationalize as I might, I was not productive at all. (Although I was very, very relaxed).

Do you think I’m on to something?

Well, then maybe you’d like to conduct your own experiment and then write an essay about the best ways to be productive.

I’m going fishing.

Figuratively.

Alan