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Raise your hand if you have ever tried to buy anything online, or in a store for that matter, and given up because the line was too long or the process too difficult.

I see a lot of raised hands.  And yet, wasn’t that the initial secret of Amazon’s success?  It was fast, convenient and easy to use.

I still remember sitting in a poetry class in the late 1990’s when the teacher asked us to buy books by a variety of poets.  “Some of these books may be difficult to find,” he said.

“Why not order them on Amazon?” I said.

“What’s an ‘Amazon’?” he said.

Believe it or not there was a time when Amazon, the company, was little known.  Amazon didn’t sell its first product, books, to the public until July, 1995.  I used to shop in bookstores often, but I found Amazon much easier to use.  Just a few clicks separated me from virtually any book I wanted. And then they arrived at my desk a few days later.  The Amazon web site was easy to understand and easy to use.  That’s why it appealed to me then, and why it appeals to me now.  There’s a lot to be said for instant (or at least quick and easy) gratification.

So why not rip a crucial page out of the Amazon playbook.  Whenever you want someone else to do something for you, make it easy for them.

If I wanted my father to attend a play with me, all I had to do was to tell him I would buy the tickets and pick him up.  If I want to have lunch with you I might offer to pick you up and take you to your favorite restaurant, my treat.

In short, lay out a road that is attractive and an easy downhill coast for me, rather than one full of potholes that is steep and arduous.

Now that I think about it, I’m going to use that technique more often – on myself.

Alan

When I was ten years old my mother picked me up early from a friend’s birthday party.

“Dad has to work late,” she said, “and we bought two tickets to a musical so I’m taking you.”

I didn’t know what a musical was, but I was happy to be going somewhere with my mom.

Our seats were in the last row of the gallery, far above the stage.  Even at that distance, I was transfixed by Mary Martin and Ezio Pinza performing Rodgers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific.

One of the songs. “Happy Talk,” resonates within me to this day. It ends with four memorable and catchy lines:

“Happy talk

“keep talkin’ happy talk

“If you don’t talk happy and you never have a dream

“Then you’ll never have a dream come true!”

I’ve always talked to myself, partly consciously but mostly unconsciously.  As a rule I believe what I say.  Since I can only trust others to the extent I trust myself, I’ve become rather careful in what I say, especially to myself.

As an entrepreneur and writer I’m always certain I can solve any business or writing problem that arises.  Even though I’m not always correct about this, I start by telling myself “I can” simply because my words of self-encouragement make a positive outcome more likely.

A former president of the United States campaigned on the slogan, “Yes we can.”

That’s an excellent place to begin. Today, as we return from our Labor Day weekend that marks the end of summer, let’s renew ourselves and face the future with the words, “Yes, I can.”

Happy talk — a great way to start the rest of our year.  We’re going to solve all of our problems and have fun doing it.

Alan

Years ago I was privileged to study for a week with Paul Ware, a psychiatrist who lived in Shreveport, Louisiana and specialized in treating adolescents. At the end of the workshop each of his students were given the opportunity to talk with Paul privately for fifty minutes.

I don’t really remember what we talked about when it was my turn. But when we were finished Paul said, “Is there anything else?”

I noted we only had four minutes left.  “There’s not much we can do in four minutes.”

Paul disagreed. “Give it a try,” he said.

“Well, there’s one other thing that bothers me.  Six months ago my fifteen-year-old son got angry. He left my house to go and live with his mother.  He has refused to talk to me ever since.”

“Go home and apologize,” Paul said.

“But I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I understand.  Do you want to have a relationship with your son or not?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then go home and apologize.”

Even though I was almost forty at the time, Paul’s advice was difficult for me to accept, but back home I arranged to see my son.

I told him I was sorry he was upset and apologized.

The room seemed to brighten and he accepted my apology.

We hugged and have enjoyed an excellent relationship ever since.

Obviously, that’s a very big deal for both of us.

I’m not necessarily suggesting that you apologize for anything, especially because we both know that you are always right.  I do, however, suggest that that you can have a life-changing experience in fewer than four minutes.  Like the thirty seconds forty-one years ago when I first saw Daveen working at a desk in a friend’s office.  Today we have three terrific adult daughters.

And unless something distracted you, I’ll bet that reading this blog took fewer than four minutes, although I’m not certain about the life changing part.

Thanks.

Alan