Alan Fox

It isn’t often that a Miss America drops by my office to say “hello.”  It did happen once, however, in the mid 1980’s. Scout’s honor.

“Debra Maffett to see you,” my receptionist announced.

I had no idea who she was, and she hadn’t scheduled an appointment.

But apparently Debra felt she didn’t need an appointment.  She mentioned the name of a mutual friend, David Beaird, a film director, and I agreed to see her.

It was then I remembered he had told me he was referring Miss America to me for financial advice. Even before she walked in, I was tongue-tied. I had never met a Miss America before. But our visit turned out well, because of her, not me. She was beautiful, yes, but she was also intelligent and personable, and she certainly carried the conversation.

I don’t believe she invested with me, but I was impressed with how knowledgeable she was about money. Especially because so many people are not financially literate. It made me realize that we shouldn’t judge people by their looks (or in this case – their beauty) alone.

Why did I just remember this?  Probably because I was watching a TV show on CNN hosted by Eva Longoria. I believe she was also a former beauty pageant winner.  She is certainly personable and intelligent.

But I digress, and that is a lot more fun than progress which involves setting goals and measuring growth (and that sounds too structured and decidedly unfun).

So next time you find yourself spending time with a beauty queen, remember the old adage – beauty is only skin deep. If you look past the pretty face, perhaps you’ll find, as I did, someone who is generous and thoughtful and kind. And aren’t those the attributes we should be celebrating in one another? Isn’t that who we want to encourage our children to grow up to become?

As for Miss America, maybe we should simply crown the woman with the best character. And that is a person who will always be welcome in my office.

Alan

Last week, the topic of my blog was “Cheers.”  Today my topic is “Fears.”  To be specific, my fear of repeating myself.

When I started writing this blog more than ten years ago, I had a lot of good ideas for material and was never at a loss for what to write about.  By now I have not only used up every one of those good ideas, but I’ve also completely forgotten what I’ve previously written.  Thus, I risk repeating myself without even realizing it.

And repeating yourself is a big issue in my family.  Especially when I do it.

My dad repeated himself often during conversations with me, so it must be karma that my children are the ones who now roll up their eyes and say the same thing I used to say to my dad. “Dad, you’ve already told me that,” they say.

And then, to rub it in, “Three times.”

I’ve even taken the vow to only tell my children about my experiences if they happened within the past two weeks.  That should avoid repetition, right?  If I could actually do it.

But do you have any idea how long two weeks is?  Also it is nearly impossible to keep track of the day when something happened, and remembering conversations is not one of my strong points.

But I have an idea inspired by a news story that might be able to help me.  The new Pope has a reputation for being an excellent listener.  I know for myself that I always learn a lot more when I listen than when I talk.

I hereby resolve to be an even better listener than I have been. This should have the added benefit of helping me restrain my preference to do most of the talking (a trait that also runs in my family).

My fear is that I’ll continue to repeat myself.

Or did I already say that?

Alan

Years ago I decided that my default answer to any request, especially from my children, would be “yes.”  I wanted to add positivity to my life, and there are few words any of us like better than “yes.”

Well, one thing is better — an enthusiastic “YES!”  Especially if the previous question was, “Will you marry me?” (I’ve never been turned down on that one.)

Today I’ve decided to add “cheers” to my repertoire.  By that I mean I will be cheering for other people to do well.

When I was in high school my friend Pete Lippman ran the mile at track meets.  One Friday afternoon before a meet he told me that any decent high school miler, including himself, should be able to complete a mile in under five minutes, and he was going to do exactly that.

From the stands I cheered him on, and for three laps he was on track to finish in slightly under five minutes.  Unfortunately, at the beginning of the final lap he faded.  Badly.

Pete ended up at Cal Tech, so he must have been destined for success in pursuits other than track and field.

I’ve since learned that competing is the point, and winning is one possible result.  But having others cheer for you, regardless of the outcome, always feels good.  I remember the Olympics in Tokyo a few years ago during the Covid Pandemic when athletes competed in front of empty grandstands.  Did it really feel like the Olympics with no live audience?  And no cheering?

As a grandfather, I’m happy to cheer on the successes of my grandchildren.  In fact, I like to cheer on many people I know. I like to share their successes, and they seem to like sharing mine.

So you not only have a cheering section.  You ARE a cheering section.

Wishing you a great day.

Cheers!

Alan