My father worked for many years as a professional musician. He played the French Horn in orchestras for movies made by Disney, 20th Century Fox, and Paramount pictures. He also taught French horn lessons in our home, and that meant as a young boy I had to be quiet part of the time. Being quiet was hard for me. At times it still is.
My father also required that I take piano lessons. The lessons were okay, but I hated practicing. In retrospect, I have to admit that I learned a lot, especially from my dad.
One of his most important points of emphasis was phrasing.
“It’s like taking a breath,” he said. “Each phrase must be interesting. You can’t rush to the popular part of the music and ignore the rest. You must pay attention to each note. Every note is important.”
Dad’s advice was great for playing music. It was also great for my writing. Every word, every sentence, every paragraph has to be interesting. When I consider buying a book I open it to a random page and read a paragraph. Then I turn to another page and read a second paragraph. If neither paragraph interests me I don’t buy the book.
In the 1980’s I owned The Whitefire Theater in Sherman Oaks. My friend David Beaird directed many plays there. I believe that Penn and Teller got their start at my theater, before attaining great fame and success in Las Vegas.
I was sitting next to David one day as he was auditioning actors for an upcoming play. As the first actor finished a few lines, David turned to me and started talking. I was startled. I thought he should be paying attention to the actor. He talked through a number of the auditions.
Afterward I asked him, “Isn’t it rude for you to talk to me in the middle of an audition?”
“Not at all,” he said. “It’s up to the actor to hold my attention. If he doesn’t, then he’s not going to hold the attention of the audience.”
I remembered my dad’s advice on playing the piano. “Each phrase must be interesting.”
So in my writing, as in my life, I try to make each moment interesting – for myself as well as others.
In life, however, I have learned something counterintuitive. The more closely I listen to others, the more interesting I become. This is something we should all try to do. If someone you care about is talking, listen carefully to what they are saying. In these times of fractured attention spans, what could be more meaningful than to have someone really pay attention to you?
We all want to be seen and heard. I suggest there is no better way to connect with another person than to give them the gift of your undivided attention.
Thanks for listening.
Alan