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Five Tips on How to Succeed at Everything

relationship-yours-peopletoolsloveToday I aim to do everything better than I did yesterday.  I want to be a better friend, a better father and husband, a better writer and businessman.  Here are five tips on how to succeed at everything.

  1. Show up.
  2. Do something.
  3. Think timing.
  4. Avoid battles.
  5. Cut losses.

First, you simply have to show up.  You will never succeed unless you show up, whether in class, to a social event, or at work.  I have found I seldom learn a subject until I take a class, read a book, or consult an expert.  I have never met a new friend while I was watching TV in bed.  My writing career took off when I finally finished the book I had been working on for twenty years.

After you show up you have to do something.  Occasionally I find myself at my office, in front of my computer screen, staring into space.  One Saturday years ago I arrived at nine am, started playing a computer game, and suddenly realized that it was four pm and I hadn’t even thought about lunch.  You don’t have to do a lot, but you can do something useful every day, even if it is only making a written note on your calendar of what you want to accomplish tomorrow.  Get into the habit of doing something each day that will contribute to your success.

Think timing.  One morning I accosted my general manager just as she was dropping her purse on her desk, and I peppered her with questions about a problem I had been working on for an hour.  “Alan, you have to say hello first,” she said.  My timing was off.  Also, I find that I am better at solving difficult problems early in the morning, or, sometimes, in the evening.  I schedule easier tasks, such as meetings, in the afternoon.

stopwishing-peopletoolsAvoid battles.  Even if you enjoy fighting with people you are not going to win every dispute.  Why not reserve your time and energy for the more important struggles, those where the outcomes matter most to you?  And be careful to avoid falling into the briar patch of litigation, where your attorney will be the winner.  Five years ago I entered into a large business transaction without thinking it through.  What followed was almost two years of furious litigation that consumed one-third of my business time and most of my emotional energy.  It ended in a costly settlement.  My attorneys celebrated.

Cut losses.  You have limited resources.  I hate to lose, but should I spend my life trying to turn around a small loss, or should I allocate my time, money, and energy to a project that promises a gain.  Cutting your losses is especially important in relationships.  Surround yourself with people who are happy and contribute joy to your life.  Just as you will bask in the glow of their achievements, they will contribute to your own contentment and success.

You have created the life you live today.  You can design an even better life for all of your tomorrows.  I hope this blog will help.

Alan

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Make It Easy for Me

makeiteasy-peopletoolsEvery time I’m asked to write a letter of recommendation my reaction is the same.

“I would be happy to.  Please give me a draft.  Put in whatever is important to you, then send me the letter to edit.”

In other words – make it easy for me.

A few weeks ago I violated my own rule.  Abbot, a friend and business associate of twenty years, asked for a letter of reference. He provided four letters written by other business people.  I thought, “This will be easy,” and immediately forwarded Abbot’s email to my assistant, asking her to write a draft.

An hour later she responded.  “Alan, I don’t know him well enough.”

Fair enough.  I quickly skimmed the four letters that Abbot had provided, then emailed him a three sentence letter.  I heard back right away.

“Alan, this won’t do.  Maybe I should draft the letter for you myself.”

I agreed. It’s what I should have asked him to do in the first place.

Stephanie, another friend of mine, flies to Orlando every year to join a colleague at Disney World.

“I don’t especially love Disney World.” Stephanie said,

“Then why to you go there so regularly?”

““Because I love my friend, and I enjoy spending time with her.  And she makes it so easy for me.  She takes care of all of the airline and hotel reservations, buys the tickets, provides for ground transportation, and plans our schedule in advance and in detail.  All I have to do is pack my suitcase and walk onto the airplane.”

If I were to ask you to “please help me out,” I might be met by your blank stare because I haven’t even told you what I want.  I’ve already made your task difficult, if not impossible.

Three or four times at a restaurant I’ve said to the waiter, “Surprise me.  Bring me something interesting.”

The response, every time, was, “What do you like?”  This is a reasonable question, but once I stood my ground.  “Surprise me.”  And I was surprised by a meal which I hated.  Now I’m more careful in what I ask for, and try to be both specific and clear.

happiness-findsyour-peopletoolsWhen I talk with someone who might be interested in a commercial real estate investment I provide photos and two pages of information that is easy to understand.  I sometimes provide a rent roll of the tenants on request. I have learned to keep my presentation simple. I don’t talk about two investments at the same time because, in the past, I have always been asked, “Which one is better?”  Then when I talked about the pros and cons of each property I saw only confusion in the eyes of my prospective investor. This always resulted in no sale.

Online retailers such as Amazon make it easy for me to order from them.  I have tried to make it easy for you to subscribe, or unsubscribe, to my blog.  I’m sure that all of us have often failed to complete an order on the internet when we couldn’t complete the process quickly enough.

I want to please you.  Many people want to please you.  Make it easy for each of us to succeed.

Alan

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Predictions Have Consequences

“I decide my life when I do not understand.  I understand my life in living those decisions.”  Alan Fox, Age 18

predictions-consequences-peopletoolsSuccess and failure in our lives is largely determined by the quality of our predictions, and each of us makes many predictions every single day, especially for the New Year which is approaching.

Most of those predictions are about relatively minor issues with short term implications such as what to eat for lunch or which movie to see.  There’s not too much upside, or downside, either way.

But there are many important predictions we make that will significantly impact the quality of our lives for the long term. For example, whether to stay at or leave your present job, or, if you decide to make a change, which new job to accept.  Other big issues are who (or whether) to marry, how to plan for your retirement (or not), or whether to have children.  In these areas your decisions will have a major impact for many years.

So how can you make good predictions? How can any of us predict the success or failure of our decisions when there is so much that can happen to influence the outcome that is beyond our control?

My suggestion is to pay attention to the information that you can or should know when making important predictions. Consider all of the known possibilities. What consequences are likely to result from your decision? What is a foreseeable outcome? If you choose to ignore a likely result or a known risk you have only yourself to blame for making a poor prediction and, consequently, a decision which turns out badly.

When I was young, despite pleas from my mother, I made a decision to not brush my teeth regularly.  I predicted that I was unlikely to ever experience tooth decay. Also, despite advice from my dentist, I decided not to floss, again a bad prediction. Although I subsequently changed my practices and began to brush regularly and also to use a water pik, the consequences of my earlier predictions had already taken effect. I recently needed to have three teeth removed because of bone decay. Actions, or inactions, have consequences.

If you ignore available information you will more likely make a bad prediction. If you know that the man you are dating cheated on his last three partners then should you make a prediction that he will remain loyal to you? If you are quitting your job to take new employment with a company that has an extremely high turnover rate should you expect a secure future at that company? If you are investing with a money manager who has never delivered good returns should you trust him with your retirement?

feel-future-peopletoolsI also suggest that you pay attention to patterns. I used to bet on sporting events.  Years ago I was in Las Vegas during the Super Bowl and I placed a substantial bet on my favorite team.  I was extremely happy until the fourth quarter, when the opposing team rallied from behind to win.  I then realized that my entire record of betting on sporting events was dismal.  I still believe that I can correctly predict the outcome of every game, but my experience has been the opposite.  For this reason I haven’t bet on a sporting event for years.

Your past is often your best guide to your future.  If you have an area in your life where your predictions are seldom or never accurate, seek the advice of someone you trust. I know a young woman who now asks her friends to vet a prospective partner before she gets serious because she has a track record of making choices which she later regrets.

If you gather available information and pay attention to your own patterns you will be more successful at making good predictions, and that is one of the secrets to living a better life.

Alan

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