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Fight On!!!

A recent news article stated that students can no longer prepare for a single career and expect it to last a lifetime. They should anticipate a Job market that will continue to change dramatically. After all, how many computer programmers did we need thirty years ago? And how many taxi or truck drivers are we going to employ thirty years in the future? As technology advances, jobs and careers change.

Last week I shared on this blog the commencement speech I recently delivered to four hundred graduates of the Leventhal School of Accounting at the University of Southern California. It was a treat for me to return to the U.S.C. campus, and in a single afternoon I learned a lot.

I thought I was calm when I spoke until, as we were driving home, Sprite pointed out that I didn’t put on my reading glasses when I delivered my speech.

“You brought three pairs, and asked me to bring two. I thought I was going to have to bring them to you while you were on stage.”

Lesson number one: I was more nervous than I realized.

Lesson number two: Under stress my eyesight improves. Actually, when necessary we can all perform better than we think we can.

I especially enjoyed lunch with Dean Bill Holder and a dozen accounting professors. We talked about how students are different today than they used to be.

“Students try to multi-task, looking at social media on their laptops while appreciating the wisdom of my lecture,” one tenured professor mentioned.

“We have to edit our thoughts to match society’s shorter attention spans,” another professor added.

“Because our students have grown up with the internet, sometimes we have to work to keep up with them,” said a third.

Every generation is different in some respects, and who knows how college students of today will turn out. I suspect they will do well, but I will also say that life today for them, and for all of us, is quite different than it has been. If you don’t know why, then you might still be relying on a rotary telephone on your nightstand, or never shopped online.

The most intriguing part of my experience was shaking hands with the graduates. Some sported flowers on their graduation caps, one man sat in a wheel chair, and a young mother had somehow tucked her baby partly under her gown.

As each graduate was photographed, shaking hands with the Dean, I was struck by the similarity of their broad smiles while appreciating the differences of their personalities.

I looked each graduate in the eyes, said “Congratulations,” and shook hands will all but those few who rushed by me without stopping. Some were shy, several seemed nervous being on stage, but many waved to the audience. Each was clearly a unique individual.

Walking back to my car after the ceremony I remembered my goal when I was in high school – to become a teacher. My two sons are professors, one in the business school at U.C.L.A, the other in the school of pharmacy at U.S.C. One of my daughters teaches law, another trains her students in yoga. I must admit, I’m a bit jealous.

Teaching on a college campus seems to be an enjoyable and fulfilling career, far removed from my daily concerns of competing with other businesses for “shelf space.”

I know that my writing is a type of teaching, but I also know that in following one path we must forego all others. Sometimes I wonder – what if . . .

Alan

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A Few Things I’ve Learned

Solitude-PeopleTools-March2016I began writing People Tools many years ago so I could share with others the behavioral insights that have helped me to achieve my goals and to live my dreams. Three books and hundreds of blog posts later, I still ask myself a question you too may occasionally ask yourself.

“How do I know which is the best tool to use in a given situation?”

The simple answer is, I don’t always know. I still have to experiment.

It has been my hope that you and every one of my readers will use people tools to live happier and more fulfilling lives; to see doors where you once saw only walls, or experience the comfort of structure where you previously may have felt vulnerable and exposed. I hope that you have benefited from my experiences – both my successes and my own mistakes.

So what have I learned over the past few years since I began writing the books and my blog?

  1. Writing books and maintaining a weekly blog is a lot of work. It’s very rewarding, but it isn’t always fun.
  2. People tools pervade my life. They help me navigate through my business and personal life with honesty and self-awareness.
  3. Human possibilities are virtually limitless. I am constantly amazed and delighted by the insight, ingenuity and resourcefulness of the people around me.
  4. Sometimes the opposite can be more effective than the customary and it takes courage, sometimes great courage, to be different. I have found that being courageous is worth it.
  5. I don’t know all the answers. I don’t even know some of the most important questions. But I continue to be willing to learn –and to be taught.

Three hermits lived together in a cave. One day a palomino horse ran by. Two years later the first hermit said, “Sure was share-Your-Story-PeopleToolsa pretty white horse.” Three years after that the second hermit said, “Twasn’t white. ‘Twas golden.” Five years passed before the third hermit chimed in.  “If you two are going to talk so much, I’m leaving.”

Though it might feel at times as if you’re isolated in your life (and isolation may indeed be an inseparable part of the human condition), rest assured that we’re all in this together. I invite you to share your experiences with me and with each other. Talk to your friends. Get in touch and let me know what has and hasn’t worked for you in your life and what helpful tools you’ve discovered along the way.

The Road we travel together in our lifetimes is fraught with unforeseen difficulties and obstacles, and at the same time filled with promise and protection. And it helps when we stay close to ourselves and each other, and openly share our stories.

Alan

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Diving off the High Board

image2I learned to swim when I was five, but wasn’t taught any of the finer points of swimming technique. As an undergraduate it was required that I take a course in swimming. I never considered myself an athlete and the class was difficult for me. Diving off the high board seemed impossible.  Whenever we practiced I started at the back of the line and as soon as I neared the rungs of the diving board ladder I’d slip to the back. I never practiced a high dive.  Not once.

On the day of the final exam I dutifully swam four laps – backstroke, breast stroke, side stroke, and freestyle.  Then, reluctantly, I dove off the low board.

“That’s fine,” the instructor said.  “Now take your high dive and you’re finished.”

His stared at me, then at the high board. It seemed to be several hundred feet above the pool.

I desperately wanted the “B.” So I coaxed my mind into Zombie mode, made my body climb up the ladder and without looking down, I ran to the end of the board and dove.  Since I’m here to tell the story I must have survived.

It’s been more than fifty years since I was traumatized by the only actual high dive of my life.  And yet, many times since then I’ve silenced my fear and dived into the dark figurative pond of the unknown.  I opened a law practice when I had practically no money to live on.  I’ve married, (not too scary), and divorced, (very scary).  Since the publication of People Tools, I’ve been asked to be a guest on many TV shows. This is something that terrifies me, so every time I click back into Zombie mode backstage and then make myself take the leap.

I have learned that none of my fears are universal.  They are personal to me.  Thousands of tourists enjoy viewing the Grand Canyon while standing on an acrylic floor.  I will never do that.  I find it difficult to end an important relationship.  Some bosses seem to enjoy firing people.  I do not look forward to public speaking.  My brother enjoyed that limelight.

A friend of mine works with hospice, and when he asks his patients what they regret it is never something they did in image1their lives.  They always regret what they haven’t done.

So choose whatever method works for you, and then follow your dreams. Live your life so you won’t have serious regrets about not doing something because you were afraid.  Say “I love you” more often.  Look for a job that better suits you.  Make new friends (and stop spending time with friends who don’t treat you well).

In other words, have the courage to dive off the high board, even if you’ve never done it before.  You might not win the competition, or get the job, and the man or woman of your dreams might say “no.” But how will you know if you don’t take a chance?

It’s not the reward that counts.  It’s the attempt.  You owe it to yourself to give the high board a try.

Alan

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